


Among the Screaming ; We Love

by heyimal_ex



Series: Tumblr Requests [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, and Evan is scarred but that's okay, angst and then fluff, connor and Jared are fighting a lot but they love each other, evans dad pretty much says he wishes he never had Evan, jard and Connor are good boyfriends, lowkey HIGHKEY child abuse, sincerely three, spousal abuse, well not rly they're just hardcore fighting but I still wanna tag it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 09:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12251403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyimal_ex/pseuds/heyimal_ex
Summary: Jared and Connor have been fighting a lot lately, mostly due to miscommunication. This leads to a lot of sleepless nights, and Evan feels like he's at his whitsend. That is - until he has a flashback to his parents fighting, and the castle finally crumbles.Or - Evan has a flashback to his parents fighting and goes into a panic attack. Jared and Connor never meant for this to happen and will do anything to fix it.





	Among the Screaming ; We Love

It was happening again. 

Evan lay, huddled against the back of the couch and clutching the throw pillow as close as he possibly could to his chest. Shaky and watery eyes glanced between his two screaming lovers, sinking further back into the cushions every time one of them raised their voice. Maybe, he thought, if he kept sinking back, he would just get swallowed up. He wouldn't have to watch the actions in front of him anymore. 

"Would you just shut the fuck up?!" Connor snapped to a positively red-hot Jared, receiving a low growl in response. 

"I'm not the one who keeps starting these fights! It's you!" Came the retort, voices climbing higher and higher in pitch. 

This had been going on for a while now. It wasn't like the three were a BAD couple - they were quite loving, actually. But as of recently, Connor and Jared in particular had been having some...communication problems. They refused to talk to each other until one or the other blew up, always leading to one AM screaming fights in their living room. And, like always, Evan sat in the middle, the bags under his eyes growing darker and darker with every passing day.

"Can you guys please just tal-" the boys fragile voice rose up through the air, only to be smashed by one of his boyfriends louder thunder.

"I START THESE BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO TALK TO ME!"

"I REFUSE TO TALK TO YOU? OH, THATS HILARIOUS." 

Perhaps it was Evans loss of sleep. Perhaps it was the fact he was just so goddamn done with all the fighting. Perhaps it was his inner desperation. 

In the end, he wasn't quite sure what had caused it - but the boy could swear he watched his lovers faces in front of him slowly morph.

Before he knew it, he was five again, sitting on the living room carpet with a red truck at his feet and his bear clutched tightly to his chest. Screaming echoed in front of him - his mother and father, going at it like they did. Every night. Without rest. 

"WHY AREN'T YOU THERE FOR OUR SON?!" His mother screamed, her voice an odd mixture of her own...and Jareds. The tears welling in her eyes and staining her cheeks were clear, despite the blurriness of Evans vision. 

 

"YOU THINK I SIGNED UP TO BE A FATHER?!" The man bellowed just as loud, slamming a fist onto the wall next to him. His voice held a shocking hint of Connor. The sound of the fist-wall collision made the young boy jump in fear and surprise, holding his teddy bear a little closer to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. The red truck lay on the carpet next to him, disregarded and forgotten. 

 

"You are one now!" His mother retorted, voice a mixture of anger and a plea. She sounded so desperate. "You HAVE to be better!"

"I don't want to be better! I don't want to be a FATHER! In fact, as far as I'm concerned, I don't have a son!"

Evan didn't really understand the connotation of those words as a child. He didn't understand how hard he had been kicked that day - not until years later. All he knew was that his daddy wasn't happy with him. The opposite - his daddy seemed to dislike him. His daddy seemed to hate him. The glares, loud voices and cold eyes were enough for any basic child to piece together. 

Evan distinctly remembers sobbing his eyes out that night. 

He gazed at his parents faces as they slowly turned back into his boyfriends. His shaky hands reached up, touching his cheeks delicately and feeling the wet tracks that covered him. 

He was crying. No, he wasn't even crying - he was sobbing. Small hiccups left him and he was finding it hard to breath, but he didn't have the air within him to beg his boyfriends to help. He could barely even move, never mind plea for his boyfriends attention. 

Thankfully, he didn't have to. 

"I CANT BELI-...Evan...?" 

Immediately, two sets of eyes were on him. The attention only made Evan sob harder, gripping the throws pillow as close as he could to his chest as loud and hollow sobs left him. 

Connor and Jared were frozen dead in their tracks. 

"B...Baby..?" Connor choked out, taking slow steps towards his tiniest lover. Evans sobbing only grew, clutching the pillow even tighter to his chest. 

"I'm sorry mom, dad..." Evan choked out in between heavy and hyperventilated breaths. "I didn't mean to make you angry, please stop fighting, please just stop fighting..."

Realization dawned on both of their faces at the same time. "Oh." Jared choked out. He was able to move faster than Connor - swooping down in the matter of seconds. The latter felt stuck in place, watching the situation before him unfurl but having no idea what to do to help. 

Jared had Evan pulled onto his lap in moments as he sat his own self down on the couch. Gently, he began to rock the male, whispering soft, comforting words and rubbing circles on the boys back. "Evan." He cooed, uncharacteristically soft and gentle. When it came to Evan, though, he found he broke his character a lot. "deep breaths, baby. We're not your parents - we're your boyfriends, see?" All he could focus on right now was the heaving coming from the other and the unnatural heat his body was emitting. 

 

Connor kneeled down, taking his lovers hands and squeezing them both tightly. "We're not mad at you at all, either." He reassured. It was all his brain could process doing at the moment. A few seconds passed before he found the words that felt somewhat right to say. "We both love you. So much. We're sorry for this - for all of it." His voice became thick with emotion at the end. 

 

Jared looked up, connecting dead eye contact with the one he kept fighting with. "We love each other." Jared said softly, and the tallest of the threes' eyes seemed to melt with love. "That's not any different than it's ever been."

Slowly, with both of his boyfriends cooing to him and assisting him to calm down, Evan was able to take deep and even breaths. He calmed down considerably, but still didn't want to leave Jareds lap. The latter was totally okay with this. 

Connor - since he was the only one standing - took matters into his own hands. He leaned down and pulled a blanket over the two, pressing a kiss to the drained Evan's head. He then headed into the kitchen, fixing up three large mugs of hot chocolate. He made sure to top Evans off extra high and added the special whip cream to Jareds. 

Balancing all three breakable glasses in his hands (somehow) he made it back into the living room, handing two to the lover boys and slipping under the blanket with them. Picking up the remote control, he flicked the television on, putting on a Disney movie for them to fall asleep to. 

That night, Evan slept in Jareds lap, with Connor having his arms wrapped securely around the both of them. He knew it wasn't perfect - he knew there were still issues to fix. But being there, with his boyfriends, made him so intensely happy. It made him so intensely happy to be surrounded (quite literally) by love.

He wouldn't give it up for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! This is another edition of my Tumblr One-Shot Requests. If you want to leave a req of your own - go shoot me a message on @ be-more-boyf-riends on tumblr!


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